I’ve been hearing a lot about summertime flings and Cosmopolitan just published an article with expert opinions on why people, mostly men stray during the summertime. I guess Eddie Cochran was right when he said, “There ain’t no cure for the summertime blues.”
“Guys are more prone to being summertime two-timers because they’re more likely to stray in general,” says New York therapist, Diana Kirschner, PhD, who is also an author, founding member of the editorial board, and contributor to the Journal of Couples Therapy.
Daniel Kruger, PhD, an evolutionary psychologist at the University of Michigan at Ann Arbor, has found that many men have the attitude that during the summer months the usual rules don’t apply. Says Kruger,
“Some men take this to mean that it’s okay to cheat once the hot weather rolls around. They think, ‘Oh, it’s just a summer fling,’ as if normal couple behavior is on hiatus.”
In the summer people are more social (I won’t talk about that one time in Cancun, if you know what I mean). Bob from Grapevine, TX told me that at one bachelor party trip he went to in Las Vegas, it was the married men that were mostly getting naughty with the strippers not the single men. Kruger continues, “With more people in a friendly, even flirty mood coming out to socialize, there’s a larger market of women to mingle with and, thus, increased chances for a man (or woman) to be unfaithful.”
Many people, men in particular, also associate summertime with adventure. Helen Fisher, PhD, biological anthropologist, research professor at Rutgers University in New Jersey, and author of Why We Love, explains, “Now is the time when you’re more apt to try something new, and any novelty increases your body’s production of dopamine, which triggers the release of testosterone – two chemicals associated with energy, elation, and sex.”
Can you tell if your partner is cheating?
Does he or she invite you to work events or events where other coworkers’ partners are attending? “Not inviting you implies that they don’t want their coworkers to know they have a partner so that they can flirt with someone else,” says Kirschner.
Is he or she taking more than a quick glance? It’s OK to take a peek but let’s not overdo it. It’s a sign they are not concerned with appearing faithful and may be open to playing around,” says Kirschner.
Is vacation time from work going to be used for guys only or girls only trip and no time is set aside for you? It gives your partner a chance to mess around out of town where you won’t find out. Are they spending a lot of time at the gym, at the tanning salon/laser hair removal or otherwise spending way too much time and attention on their body? Its beach season, the heat and the sun means less clothes and more skin exposed. “If he gets obsessive about waxing his back hair or lifting weights at the gym, his MO may be to attract other women,” says Kirschner
If there are any of these tip-offs – communicate with your partner. They might not admit anything but they may let you know that they are bored.
So do you want to save your marriage? Your relationship? Prevent divorce? Every relationship can be saved.
It’s a lot easier than you think. What would a single mother like me know about saving your relationship? A lot. I have been cheated on and I have been through hell with divorce. Believe me you don’t want to divorce. Many of the telltale signs I mentioned earlier was exactly what me ex husband did. I was in denial about all of it. So don’t go there – Below are some tips and some resources I wish I had for saving my marriage. Get your ex back NOW!
Did you know that most relationships CAN be salvaged? You may find it difficult to believe that almost every break up for whatever reason…infidelity, plain old lost passion, loss of interest, a stolen heart and worse…even the worst situations you can imagine…like men serving prison sentences have salvaged their relationships. Yes, even Ex-cons have got back together with girlfriends and wives after being away for years! You can too!
Here’s how you can save your relationship or get your ex back. Don’t divorce or even think about creating your online dating profile – most people don’t want to be YOUR rebound or fling anyway.
Top 10 Ways to Save Your Relationship
1. Communicate and act like they are your number one priority
2. Learn about your lover’s interests and participate and support those interests
3. Profess to others about your relationship
4. Show appreciation for your partner – even if they may leave
5. Lead by example and show more love and appreciation. Give them time to reciprocate instead of expecting them to follow suit.
6. Take some time from other responsibilities to spend time with your partner
7. Get the adrenaline pumping by playing competitive games, sports, puzzles with your partner
8. Compliment genuinely every now and then
9. Don’t look needy or desperate
10. Learn to love yourself
There are more things you can do to save your relationship or if they have already left or strayed, you can still get them back.