“… and they lived happily ever after”… For most of us women (even men), we desire and wish that our relationship will have the same exact ending as most of our all-time favorite fairy-tales. Happy endings are attainable if we make our relationship a healthy one. Favorably to us, a successful and healthy relationship is without question attainable if both parties are willing to do their share.
There are things that we MUST do alone and there are also things that we must do together with our partners.
DIY (Do It Yourself) – these are the things that you must do alone as one’s own volition.
You are individuals – We must know that entering in a relationship does not mean that you will be the exact same as your mate. There is no such thing. You will think, feel, hope and act differently. Accept that all of us is unique, and that uniqueness is a gift.
Note that you own yourself – Take the full responsibility that we are in-charge of our actions. We are accountable on how we see and interpret the things around us; that we are liable and responsible to our own happiness.
Have a positive attitude – Try to have a positive outlook in life. See that there are reasons and beauty in every negative situations. Learn from those negative situations and try not to make the same mistakes again.
Be true to your words – Do not make promises that you cannot keep. If breaking your words goes into cycle, hence; there won’t be trust anymore. If you have promised to love, honor, and be truthful to your partner, then, keep that promise.
Be a willing donor – Do what you ought to do. Be sweet if you like to be sweet, be touchy if you want to be touchy. Do these things without expecting your mate to do the same to you. Remember that you are doing these things because it makes your loved one happy.
Expect Less – Try to eliminate high expectations with your loved one. Remember that all of us has his / her own strength and weaknesses; good side and bad side. There is no such thing as a perfect partner.
Positive approach – Using positive approach with your mate such as: “Well done”, “I am with you”, “I am so proud of you” and the likes would mean that you are together in whatever journey your partner is going through. On the other hand, statements like “I understand”, “I know how you feel”, “I feel for you” may mean that you express the same feeling that he / she is experiencing.
Be open – Communicate with him how you feel. Be open about your feelings towards him / her. This could include about your relationship, sex, or anything you think is worth telling. Being open doesn’t mean that you will always talk about what’s wrong, but being open also mean expressing how you love your mate or how you miss him through out the day.
Use your senses – Keep an open eyes, ears and mind whenever your loved one talks. As much as possible, try not to interrupt him / her when talking. This will make your partner feel and see that you value his / her thoughts.
“ME” time – Spend time for yourself alone. Spend time with your friends and colleagues. This could help eliminate the feeling of being controlled and feeling of being choked.
LDT – (Lets Do this Together) – these are the things that should be done together with your partners.
“US” time – spend quality time with your better half. Do the things that usually makes you both feel happy. This could be dining out, going to movie theaters, travels, watching concert. You can also try the “unconventional” things. Make your US time fun, happy and exciting.
Appreciate one another – Appreciate even the smallest good gesture of your partner. Acknowledging both the good and the bad stuff of each other would mean you want to make your relationship better, and that you want to make things work out.
Be each others arm – Be alliance, support and friend to each other. In this way, you will be able to communicate better with your partners. Through this also, you will never feel alone in your relationship. You will feel stronger if you know that someone is beside you and is willing to stand by you, no matter what.
Play with each other – Enjoy each and every time that you spend with your loved one; Laugh as often as possible with them – be playful, just kid around with each other.
Aim for better communication – Practice to communicate as partners. This will help you both to know your strengths and weaknesses as mates. Compromise if necessary. Through this, you will also practice how to give and take.
Healthy relationship takes a lot of work, either individually or together with your partner. By aiming to make yourself better as an individual and as partners, you really can create an ending that says, “… and they lived happily ever after.”