It is only natural to crave the things that we have lost, because we humans do not like or appreciate change of any sort and so on a fundamental level, that is why the compulsion to want your ex back is so strong.
In essence then, the desire to want your ex back is likely, even inevitable and so as such then it is important that you give it the proper consideration and reflection it so thoroughly deserves. After all, would getting back with your ex actually fix anything? Are you perhaps viewing the relationship with rose tinted spectacles and thinking only of the good times you had together, as opposed to the bad times as well?
Another crucial question to ask yourself when that sickening desire to want your ex back kicks in is this:
“Would getting back together be fair on both of us?”
You see, there are some people in this world who simply are not right for one another as they are in a toxic and unhealthy relationship. As an extreme example of this, a person who is the victim of domestic abuse is not truly in love with her partner, and the reason for this is that they have been conditioned to feel supportive and protective towards their abuser as a defense mechanism against further harm.
A genuine and healthy relationship will have both partners to it feeling supported, cherished, valued and loved. Both partners will support one another and will be prepared to engage in negotiation and compromise, rather than using bullying and passive aggressive strategies to get their own way. Therefore, if the two of you are constantly fighting and arguing, and one or even both of you feel as if you are not respected as a person, then the relationship is not a healthy or fair one.
Although you maybe absolutely desperate to have a reconciliation with your ex, make sure that you take the time that your breakup has fortuitously provided you with to reflect and consider your relationship with clarity and objectivity.
It is often commented that you cannot love another person until you learn to love yourself and this is very true indeed. If the only reason that you have rushed into a relationship or a marriage is because you are insecure and therefore need a partner to prop up your own failing and limited ego, then this is not fair on either of you.
Therefore, if you are truly genuine and committed to getting back with your ex then you need to ensure that you seek to remake contact with them when you are at peace with yourself and genuinely content. If there are any major problems or issues that are unresolved in your life, then put those metaphorical fires out before jumping headfirst into another one.
Ultimately, no one wants to feel as if they are merely together with a person because they provide sexual intercourse or physical contact. Let your spouse know that they mean more to you than this, and you will make some decent progress.
